Abe Lincon

Abraham "Abe" Lincoln is a fictional animated character and protagonist from Clone High, voiced by Will Forte. Abe is a clone-parody of Abraham Lincoln. He is a very nice guy, but naïve and reluctant in most situations. His rivalry with JFK over Cleopatra figures centrally in the series. While Cleo is Abe's on-again-off-again girlriend, he ignorantly regards his best friend Joan of Arc as just that, despite her feelings for him.

Relationship with Original Abraham Lincoln
Abe's struggle to live up to his original clone parent probably figures in the series more than any of the other clones. He sometimes looks upon Lincoln for inspiration and saves the day, but other times misinterprets his forefather's motivations and exacerbates the situation.

In Election Blu-Galoo, when trying his hand at student politics, Abe is frustrated that he cannot live up to the greatness of the original Lincoln, nor can he compete with the more popular candidate, JFK. While trying to live up to Lincoln's greatness and dignity, Abe at first focuses solely on the issues, and ignores the importance of popularity and charisma in politics. He then sells out to an energy product called X-Stream Blue; after this, his campaign begins consisting of him doing various extreme sport stunts, assuming the original Lincoln would've done the same, "had he the tools to do so".

In A.D.D.: The Last 'D' is for Disorder, the image of Lincoln on a $5 bill speaks to Abe briefly, encouraging him to save Gandhi from the A.D.D.-fearing mob by way of grand homoerotic gesture. Abe's license plate in this episode reads "Mancipate" a reference to the Emancipation Proclamation.

Abe's relationship with Lincoln is most prominent in A Room of One's Clone: Pie of the Storm. In this episode, Abe repeatedly attempts conflict resolution in the tradition of his forefather's union-preservation, believing Lincoln's DNA makes him a natural mediator. Initially this fails when he cannot prevent an altercation between JFK and Gandhi. Later, after taking a conflict mediation seminar, Abe unsuccessfully tries to tackle the rift between new roommates Joan and Cleo, which ultimately leads to the two of them splitting their room in half with a painted line—splitting it crosswise, leaving the girls' room divided into north and south portions. Abe makes the connection to the Civil War, and seeks further inspiration from a robomatronic theme-park Lincoln that delivers the second inaugural address. Abe returns home and attempts to solve all the episode's outstanding conflicts, but his poor notetaking and uninspiring repetition of (several of) Lincoln's words fails to improve things.

In Raisin the Stakes: A Rock Opera in Three Acts, a psychedelic-inspired Lincoln visits Abe in his unconscious, convincing him to stop the other students from smoking raisins. Again, Abe's view of the president is imperfect, as one of Lincoln's main arguments for doing such is "Cleo would do you, and I hear she's amazin'".

Joan
Possibly the most compelling relationship in the series, it is definitely a parody of cliched American teen dramas, being based on plot formulas so generic that no direct references need be made. Abe and Joan's relationship is complicated, at least from her point of view. To Abe, the two are best friends and inordinately Platonic, to the degree that, in Abe's opinion, "they could sleep in the same bed and never touch or kiss". Abe remains fervently oblivious to Joan's passionate love for him for nearly the entirety of the series. On the occasions that Joan actually does attempt to make her feelings clear, Abe foolishly overlooks them with surprising naïveté; a prime example is in Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand, when Joan declares to him, "Abe, I want you," to which he replies, "You want me to what?"

Despite Abe's inability to see Joan's infatuation with himself, he has remained her committed friend and ally for the years they have known each other. In Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand, Abe sacrifices his popularity and standing with Cleo to save Joan (and Gandhi) for being arrested for underage drinking by admitting the beer they're drinking, which he brought, is non-alcoholic. In Film Fest: Tears of a Clone, Abe believes Joan is against the idea of the film festival because she thinks it's too commercial and has lost the spirit of the art films she used to make (in actuality, Joan is upset because Abe is in love with Cleo), and inspires her to display her feelings, whatever they may be, in her submission. He becomes determined to let Joan tell her story, and even arranges to have her movie screened against her will. In Sleep of Faith: La Rue D'Awakening, after winning the drag race against JFK and getting a date with Cleo, he says he owes all his success to Joan. In Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc, Abe makes an impassioned speech that convinces Scudworth to let Joan make the final shot at the homecoming basketball game and win the match against GESH, despite her being a girl. In Makeover, Makeover, Makeover: The Makeover Episode, Abe's passionate view of prom and its importance on a person's live drives him to change Joan's anti-prom ways and find her a date. Despite his zeal, his makeover ruins Joan's appearance and breaks her heart.

That said, their friendship has not gone untested. In Election Blu-Galoo, Abe felt betrayed by Joan after she volunteered to manage JFK's campaign against Abe's run for the student body presidency. In Film Fest: Tears of a Clone, Abe was briefly angry with Joan for not seeing the symbolism in his nonsensical film. In Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc, Abe was intensely at odds with John Dark (Joan in disguise), whom he believed was trying to steal Cleo away from him. When John Dark's true identity was revealed, Abe was still upset with Joan for both deceiving him and showing him up.

In Makeover, Makeover, Makeover: The Makeover Episode, Abe, in the process of finding Joan a prom date, he starts ignoring Cleo, and his plan to ask her to the prom. He begins seeing Joan as beautiful after she gets a makeover from a sympathetic Cleo. He even has an inexplicable (to him) dream where he asks Joan to the prom. In Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale, Abe does indeed ask out Cleo to the prom, but still feels uneasy when Joan accepts to attend with JFK. Abe, now feeling animosity towards JFK for some reason, eventually reaches the point of having sex with Cleo, but the two of them soon realize Abe is actually in love with Joan. Little does he know JFK has already confessed to Joan that he had legitimate feelings for her. Abe rushes to confess his feelings to Joan, only to find her and JFK in bed together. Abe is unable to reveal the truth before he and Joan (not to mention all other characters at the prom for various reaons) are flash frozen.

Gandhi
Main article: Gandhi (Clone High)#Abe

Cleopatra

Abe is in love with Cleo. He is eternally devoted to her, and rare indeed is the occasion when he won't sacrifice the wellbeing of himself or even others to increase her liking of him.

Nearly every episode of the series revolves, in some way or another, around Abe's relationship with Cleo. In the beginning, Abe is hopelessly infatuated with her, yet is hindered by his relative lack of popularity or coolness amongst the students. In Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand, JFK is quite aware of Abe's feelings for Cleo, but as her boyfriend he remains overprotective and denies Abe and his friends invitation to the student party he's hosting. Abe promises to bring the beer, and is naturally invited, and is so popular that he even ends up making out with Cleo. Abe eventually terminates his chances with Cleo when he admits the beer is non-alcoholic. In Election Blu-Galoo, Abe runs for student body president to get Cleo like him. In A.D.D.: The Last 'D' is for Disorder, Abe volunteers to help Cleo run the open-mouth kissing booth at the Awareness Fair, but once again sacrifices this opportunity to save Gandhi. Cleo is respectfully impressed, but revolted. In Sleep of Faith: La Rue D'Awakening, after Cleo and JFK break up, Abe starts a relationship with her that falls just short of dating. He runs numerous errands for her and suffers catastrophic sleep deprivation, but eventually wins Cleo's affections in a drag race against JFK that he wins, ironically, thanks to his taking a nap.

By Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc, Cleo and Abe are boyfriend and girlfriend. Several problems arise in Plane Crazy: Gate Expectations: Abe desperately attempts to achieve the perfect moment for a first kiss, Cleo is accepted into Ashley Angel from O-Town's Spring Break Dance Academy and is separated from Abe, who briefly considers ending it with Cleo after she appears to have not worn his letterman's jacket on television at the Dance Academy. In the end, the problems are resolved as Abe discovers Cleo was actually wearing Abe's water-shrunk and very difficult to see letterman's jacket as a necklace, Cleo decides to return to Abe and throws away her chances at greatness at the academy, and they share their first kiss at the airport. In A Room of One's Clone: Pie of the Storm, Abe is torn between Joan and Cleo as they battle under the same roof, but carefully refrains from picking sides and attempts to resolve the conflict. Though the conflict is indeed resolved in the end, Abe had nothing to do with it, despite his less-than-valiant try. In Raisin the Stakes: A Rock Opera in Three Acts, Abe and Cleo bond over raisin-smoking, and she briefly becomes his common-law wife as they turn into hippies named Captain Lavender and Rainmelon. In Snowflake Day: A Very Special Holiday Episode, Cleo is insulted by Abe's lovingly hand-crafted relationship coupon book, but is saved when she and the others are reminded of the true spirit of Snowflake Day. In Makeover, Makeover, Makeover: The Makeover Episode, Cleo finds herself continually annoyed that Abe is paying more attention to getting Joan a prom date than he is planning a prom-posal to her. Though Abe does indeed ask out Cleo eventually (not without some doubt as to whether to ask Cleo or Joan), he eventually realizes in Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale that Joan is the one for him. Cleo also realizes this, and is deeply saddened. Though she attempts to find him after he leaves, she only finds him just before the prom is frozen.

JFK
Abe and JFK have been both bitter enemies and close friends. In Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand, JFK refused to invite Abe to his kegger until Abe promised to bring the beer. Their rivalry intensified in Election Blu-Galoo as they vied for both Cleo's heart and the school body presidency, in an election that was eventually lost to both of them. In Sleep of Faith: La Rue D'Awakening, Abe and JFK once again fought for Cleo in a drag race that was won by Abe. After lukewarm relations for several episodes, Abe once again found himself at odds with JFK in Litter Kills: Litterally, angry at him for his perceived faking of sadness over the death of Ponce in order to get closer to a sympathetic Cleo. After realizing that JFK's grief is genuine, the two become friends and Abe helps JFK cope. In Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale, as Abe begins to fall in love with Joan (who is going to the prom with JFK), Abe begins to once again dislike JFK, though for an unprovoked reason in his view. In the end, when Abe discovers Joan and JFK in bed, Abe's thoughts of JFK are unclear as at the moment he is more concerned with confessing his feelings to Joan, which he is unable to do.